


In All Things, Moderation

by HelenaHandbasket



Series: Different Rhythm Series [3]
Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-02
Updated: 2007-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-09 12:15:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/87218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenaHandbasket/pseuds/HelenaHandbasket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sanzo is pissed off, Goku is hungry, Gojyo is horny, and Hakkai is (mostly) level-headed, yet this is far from an ordinary day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In All Things, Moderation

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those stories that I think I liked better in theory than in execution, but it has enough good moments that I decided to go ahead and post it. It's a take on an often used thematic device, but hopefully provides something funny and original. Technically, this is a follow-up to A Different Rhythm and Ground Rules, but it can be read as a standalone with the assumption that Gojyo and Hakkai are already an item.

In All Things, Moderation  
by Helena Handbasket

 

Hakkai and Gojyo had a new game, and it was pissing Sanzo off. The game itself was bad enough, albeit typical for those two perverts, but the worst part was that it had turned them into demon-killing machines, even more so than before, and their newfound avidity had come in handy over the last couple of weeks. Ever since the Sanzo party had descended from the mountains to the plains, they'd been ambushed daily by armies of demons, all gunning for the scripture. Despite overwhelming numbers, the demons were rapidly dispatched again and again, thanks mostly to the efforts of Gojyo and Hakkai. The most aggravating facet of their stupid game was that it was helpful, and Sanzo therefore had nothing to complain about.

He'd learned about it by accident in a tavern late one evening, when Gojyo and Hakkai had been under the impression that he had already gone to bed. In truth, he'd just gotten sick of everyone's yapping and retired to a secluded booth where no one would bug him. The hour grew late and the patrons trickled out until the murmur of conversation died away and he was left in blessed silence. That was, until a pair of familiar voices arose through the partition from the next booth over.

"Here's how it works," Gojyo had said. "Whoever kills the most demons during the day gets to pick what we do in bed that night."

"I don't know…" Hakkai sounded hesitant. "We're fighting for our lives and the fate of the world. Isn't making a sex game out of it kind of… glib?"

"You do what you gotta. It's not like we won't be killing them anyway. Come on, you know there's something you want to try."

"If there's something I want to try, I'll just ask you. I don't need some silly game to justify it."

"But isn't it more fun if you know I have to do it?"

"Not really, no. Those kinds of power games aren't my thing."

"So what? Come on, you'll get into it. I promise."

"I said no, Gojyo."

The back of the booth rumbled with Gojyo's petulant grumbling. "Fine, then, I'll withhold sex."

"As if you could ever withhold sex."

"True…" A pause, as if Gojyo were considering an alternate strategy. "But, you know, it is within my formidable willpower to withhold blow jobs."

Hakkai sighed. "That's low."

"Please? For me?"

After a moment of consideration, Hakkai said, "Fine. Starting tomorrow we'll play your game, but I'm warning you: I'm going to win, and I think you can guess what your first task is going to be."

When Gojyo spoke, his voice was seductively low. "You've already agreed to what I want… so why wait?" And at that they hurriedly left the tavern.

Sanzo had been affronted and appalled, and had prepared a scathing lecture on the irresponsibility of trivializing their mission, but the following day they had been attacked by a horde of more than a hundred demons. The fight was over in less than ten minutes. Though it practically killed him to do so, Sanzo decided to keep his mouth shut. The smug, secret smile plastered across Gojyo's face as they drove off in the jeep almost broke him – Gojyo had been the clear winner with a total of sixty five – but he consoled himself with the notion that Hakkai had deliberately kept his numbers down, out of pure curiosity as to what Gojyo would make him do.

For a week now, they'd been trading off victories, working Sanzo's last nerve in the process, but as he looked around at the corpses of demons littering the open plain, his objections faded into resentful tolerance. He didn't even participate in the fights anymore, just sat there and smoked while the other three went to town. It wasn't a bad way to spend his days; besides, he was saving a shitload of ammo.

Today's foes had been less numerous than usual, but they'd made up for this banality in sheer weirdness. Decked out in black leather and chains, dog collars and piercings, they looked like the fucking Gay S&amp;M Welcome Squad. Sanzo made a mental note to watch Gojyo closely. If he tried to steal any outfits off the corpses, he would shoot him.

As the dust settled, only four figures remained: Hakkai, Gojyo, Goku, and one solitary demon, who looked like he was about to piss himself in the knowledge of how thoroughly fucked he was. The other three circled around him, each wearing his own distinctive mask of predatory anticipation, but the urgency was over. Their victory was just a matter of course.

"What's your count, Hakkai?" Gojyo was grinning like an idiot, certain that he'd won.

But Hakkai seemed to have gotten over his initial reluctance, and was throwing himself into the game in earnest. He arched an eyebrow as he pronounced, "Twenty eight."

"Huh," said Gojyo. "Me too. We'll just have to duke it out for this last one." His eyes flashed with challenge. As Hakkai mustered his chi, Gojyo made a run for the survivor, brandishing his shakujo with ecstatic abandon.

But both were to be disappointed. Just as Hakkai fired off a bolt of energy and Gojyo swung his blade, the demon wavered and fell, revealing a triumphant Goku, nyoibo in hand, and wearing a shit-eating grin.

"Hey!" Gojyo barked in affront. "I was right in the middle of killing that guy."

Goku stuck his tongue out and laughed at overtly at his disappointment. "Ha! It's not my fault you're so slow."

"Dammit!" Gojyo flung down his weapon like a petulant child.

Meeting Gojyo's infantile behavior in kind, Goku folded his arms. "I don't know what you're so upset about. I'm still only at twenty seven."

"I told you before, monkey, you're not a part of this game. It's for grown-ups only."

"Aw, no fair! I want to play too!"   
Sanzo shuddered. He didn't even want to think about how fucked up that was.

But just as those two idiots were about to throw down, Hakkai cleared his throat, nodding indicatively at a figure on the distant horizon, walking towards them with calm confidence. Sanzo rose, trying to make out the silhouette through the billowing dust. It was a female demon, and the casual arrogance with which she made her way towards her slaughtered kin spelled trouble. Warily, he crossed the small stretch of plain to join the others.

They gripped their respective weapons, ready to fight, but the demon made no move to attack. When she came fully into view, it was clear that she belonged to the same clan as the demons they had already defeated. Her tight leather pants left nothing to the imagination, and her hips were bound by a crisscross of metal-spiked belts. She was practically hanging out of her bustier, which was inset with thick metal rings connected by chains. In her right hand, she carried a vicious-looking whip – a cat o' nine tails.

"Psst," murmured Gojyo under his breath, elbowing Hakkai. "Hundred point dominatrix bonus."

When she was perhaps twenty feet away from them, she halted, her blood red lips curling into a smile. When she spoke, her voice was husky and playful. "Well, that didn't take long. I'm impressed." Still, the only aggression she displayed was in the wicked mirth of her countenance.

Sanzo gripped his revolver, his senses overcome by ominous premonition. "Who are you?" he growled.

She shrugged, flipping her jet black hair over her shoulder. "I go by many names, but you may call me Desdemona."

"Desdemona the Demon Dominatrix?" Gojyo scoffed. "Sounds like a porn star."

"I can be whatever you want me to be, handsome."

Gojyo just laughed. "Sorry, babe, I'm off the market."

"Oh? Too bad."

"What do you want?" Hakkai demanded. A stupid question. Of course, she wanted the scripture. They always wanted the scripture.

Her eyes darted sharply towards him, as if she had just heard his thoughts. "I don't want the scripture, if that's what you're thinking."

Sanzo tried not to look shocked, tried to stifle the feeling that he'd just been invaded, hiding his discomfort behind a veneer of aloof hostility. "What then?"

"I've seen your strengths," she cooed, gesturing at the surrounding corpses as if they were stacks of tedious parchment. "Now I'd like to get a look at your weaknesses."

"We don't have any weaknesses," Goku shouted. "Not for you."

She laughed, tilting her head back in perverse delight. "Oh really?"

In a lightning fast motion, she cracked her whip, eliciting a deafening boom that shook the plain. Sanzo went for his gun. At his side, Goku crouched, ready to pounce. He leapt into the air and stopped short, as if striking an invisible barrier, and Sanzo felt a violent pull at his left wrist. Before he knew it, he was face down in the dust. What the fuck?

He tried to get up, or at least on all fours, but something bound his left wrist, something that wouldn't budge no matter how hard he yanked. His eyes drifted downward to where a heavy iron manacle encompassed most of his forearm. Welded to the metal was a thick chain, and at the other end of the chain was… oh, fuck. Goku. This was going to be a bad fucking day.

Anger welled up inside him at the affront of that bitch. How dare she do this? How dare she do this to him? This was more than just his usual anger – something about that leather-clad tart released every ounce of hatred and fury that had ever existed in his soul, and something beyond. He was really really fucking pissed off.

Goku was still coming to his senses, cradling his forehead where he had struck the ground hard. He drew his right hand forward to dab at the bruise, unwittingly pulling Sanzo toward him. Then, noticing the manacle and the few feet of chain that connected them, he frowned, looked up at Sanzo, and said, "I am so hungry right now."

"Shut the hell up and get on your feet. We need to kill this bitch immediately."

Awkwardly, they struggled into a standing position, and Sanzo looked to the side, noticing that Hakkai and Gojyo, too, had been chained together. But instead of doing anything about it, they were just standing there stupidly looking at their wrists. Like Sanzo needed another reason to be pissed off.

The demon woman cackled in delight, regarding the foursome as if they were a work of art. "Tell me," she commanded, the words carrying a strange sense of obligation, as if they had to obey. "How do you feel?"

"Confused," murmured Hakkai, scratching the back of his head.

Confused? That's all he could think of to fucking say? That he was confused? Asshole.

"Hungry!" wailed Goku.

Boy, that was a shock. The only thing Sanzo wanted more than to kill that demon right now was for Goku to shut up.

The demon looked at him expectantly. Sanzo was determined not to answer because he knew that was what she wanted, but some strange compulsion forced him to speak, and the words were across his lips before he could stop himself. His voice was shaking with fury. "I feel… I feel like I'm going to kill you slowly and painfully, and I'm going enjoy every second of it."

She nodded her head in approval, lips curving into a sly smile. "Good, good. Yes, I thought so." Fixing her gaze on the still-silent Gojyo. "And what about you, Mr. Off the Market? What do you think?"

"Me?" He looked down at his wrist, then up at Hakkai. He raised his arm, then lowered it again, raised it higher still so that Hakkai's hand lifted with it, then grabbed the chain and yanked hard, so that Hakkai's hand landed firmly on his ass. "I think this could work. Thanks, Dominatrix Lady!" And with those words, he grabbed Hakkai by the shoulders and kissed him with unguarded abandon. With his chained hand, he kept Hakkai's clapped tightly to his ass, while the other hand roved indiscriminately over every inch of flesh it could reach, pulling insistently at his clothes until his tunic was halfway off his shoulders. Hakkai's eyes were wide with shock, but he wasn't exactly struggling. Gojyo's tongue was so far down his throat that he could probably tell what Hakkai had had for lunch three days ago.

"Whoa," breathed Goku, staring openly. Until now, those two jackasses had at least had the decency to hold their make-out sessions in private. Now they were going at it right out in the open.

Sanzo swore and yanked on his chain, determined to put a stop to this disgusting spectacle, but Goku, having quickly grown bored of watching amateur gay porn, had dropped to the ground, and was struggling with one hand to take off his boot. At length he succeeded, and he held it up for Sanzo to inspect, blinking inquiringly. "Do you think this is edible?"

Okay. What the fuck was wrong with everyone? Was he the only fucking person on this fucking journey with any fucking notion of fucking propriety or common fucking sense? He wanted to fucking kill every fucking last one of them so he wouldn't have to drag there sorry fucking asses around with him any fucking more. He had never been angrier in his life.

He was vaguely aware of the demon standing in the distance with her hands on her hips, regarding them with amusement. What the fuck was she looking at? He stomped over to Gojyo and Hakkai, dragging Goku behind him along the ground, boot stuffed in his mouth. Now Hakkai was at least making a mild effort to extricate himself from Gojyo's groping hands, but the half-demon's determination was insuperable. The captive's eyes widened, a plea for help.

"Break it up," Sanzo snarled, thrusting his free arm between their chests and prying them apart. Gojyo struggled against him, but his perverse desire to bang Hakkai in public was no match for Sanzo's raw fury. Once they were separated, Gojyo's protests died down a bit, but he still kept trying to use his chained arm to maneuver Hakkai's hand down the front of his pants.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Sanzo demanded, trying to swat Gojyo's chained wrist with his fan, but hitting Hakkai by mistake.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Gojyo shot back without relinquishing his grip on Hakkai's wrist. "The vein in your temple is throbbing so hard it looks like you're about to explode. Now get out of my way. I've got a dirty idea."

He flung himself towards Hakkai, but Sanzo halted him in his tracks, gun pressed to the middle of his forehead. He was shaking hard. Pulling the trigger would be so easy. Just a little pressure and he'd have one less pain in his ass.

"Okay, okay, don't blow a gasket." Gojyo obviously sensed the very real danger he was in, and lifted his hands in surrender, backing away slowly and pulling Hakkai along with him. Sanzo tried to follow him, but the chain held him in place: Goku had fallen asleep on the ground, half-chewed boot still in his mouth. FUCK.

Suddenly, Gojyo's expression changed from wary to playful. He was apparently no longer a lecherous idiot, he was a lecherous idiot with short term memory loss. "Hey, Sanzo, which pose do you think is hotter? This one?" Here he embraced Hakkai from behind, hands roving across his chest only slightly hampered by the chains. "Or this one?" He flipped Hakkai around, pulling him close and trapping him there, one gangly leg wrapped tight around his waist. His one-legged balance was tenuous, and he wavered slightly as he looked to Sanzo for a judgment.

Sanzo's finger twitched against the trigger.

Disappointed by this unenthusiastic response, Gojyo frowned in consternation. "Hmm. Maybe it would be better if we took our shirts off."

As he started grappling with Hakkai's tunic again, Hakkai finally seemed to come out of his bewilderment enough to slap his hands away. Determined to put a stop to this nonsense before these jerks gave him an aneurism, Sanzo dragged himself toward them, Goku in tow.

Temporarily free of molestation, Hakkai addressed Gojyo in placating tones. "Perhaps this isn't the best time for us to…"

"To what? I say, if you've got it, flaunt it." He swung his arm over Hakkai's head and landed it on his shoulder, the chain stretching across his chest. "I'm boffing the sexiest guy in the world!" he declared loudly to the open plains. Then, winking at Hakkai, he added, "Except for me, of course."

That was it. Death time. He would kill Gojyo, and he would kill Hakkai if he tried to stop him. He wanted to kill Goku, too, but it would probably be inconvenient to go through life with a rotting monkey corpse strapped to his wrist. He knew there was someone else he wanted to kill, but he couldn't quite remember. Surely it would come to him when the others were dead. He was sick and tired of being the only competent person in the world, sick of being surrounded by worthless losers. He was the only one capable of doing anything right. He was going to fix this.

Sanzo fired his revolver, aiming for the back of Gojyo's head, but that bastard Hakkai saw it coming and threw them both to the ground. In his gratitude, Gojyo rolled Hakkai onto his back and started kissing him again. Idiot. Now Sanzo could get the both of them with one bullet. Now that would be satisfying.

Before he could fire off the next shot, however, he was interrupted by a slow clapping. He looked around fiercely for the source of the noise, and his eyes landed on the demon, her face contorted by an ugly smile. Right. That was who else he needed to kill.

Intellectually, his anger increased as she approached, but there was something about her presence that made the fire in his breast subside. Gojyo stopped molesting Hakkai long enough to glare up at her, and Goku stirred, sitting up and blinking with sleepy eyes.

"Your weaknesses are coming out splendidly," the demon purred. "I can see you quite clearly now." Her eyes wavered for a moment, then darted to Hakkai, which made Gojyo crouch over him possessively. "Well, most of you, anyway. This is all quite interesting."

"Let us out of these things!" Goku whined through a yawn.

She threw her head back and laughed heartily, a deep, throaty laugh of the sort that drew attention from across a crowded room. "You're a funny one, aren't you?"

"It'll only be funny when you're dead," Sanzo spat. At the last word, he fired, but she dodged the bullet easily, gliding out of range in a blur of leather and flesh. She was fast, damn it.

Sanzo was sick of this conversation – it was wasting valuable time that could be otherwise spent killing people that annoyed him. "What do you want?"

In response, that fucking whore had the gall to smile and lick her lips. "I already have what I want. Food."

"Food? You have food?!" Goku shot forward, dragging Sanzo along with him. Why did the monkey have to be so fucking strong? "Can I have some? Please?"

"You can't eat this food. You're job is to provide it." She closed her eyes in ecstasy and bit down on her lower lip. "And it's delicious. You four are a veritable feast!"

Sanzo narrowed his eyes, but knew that firing another round was a waste of time and ammunition. Still, this wasn't the first demon to threaten to eat him, and he'd kill this bitch like he had the others. But there was something in her tone that suggested she wasn't speaking literally. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Desdemona smiled, running a finger sensuously along the leather braids of her whip. "Those bracelets aren't just fetching accessories, you know. They bring out your sins. And me? I'm a sin-eater."

"Eat this." Gojyo spat, grabbing his crotch contemptuously.

"Believe me. I'd like to." As she said this, she noticed the defiant flash in Hakkai's eyes, and her face lit up with mirth. "So you're the reason Red is off the market, eh? Lucky you." She turned to Sanzo with a secret smile, as if about to share a confidence. "You know what I think?"

"No, and I don't care." He was still angry beyond measure, but he didn't feel quite so out of control. Everyone in the general vicinity was still on his hit list, but he had reprioritized them so as to minimize his own inconvenience.

The demon didn't seem to care much about his response, continuing regardless. "I think the situation is not yet optimized. I'd still like to learn more." Her eyes settled on Gojyo and Hakkai, still lying prone on the ground. As she raised her whip, Goku rushed forward to protect them, Sanzo stumbling to keep up, but there was nothing either of them could do. The whip cracked, and a thundering boom again shook the plain. Sanzo and Goku were thrown to the ground, landing on Gojyo and Hakkai in a twisted heap.

"The worst of the effect should be wearing off by now," the sin-eater told them. "Like sin itself, it's always most intense at the beginning." She tilted her head to consider them. "If you'd care to challenge me, I have a castle just north of the nearest village." With a smile and an airy laugh, she brandished her whip and vanished.

Head aching, Sanzo struggled to sit up among the tangle of bodies. Finding Goku's bare foot jabbing into his solar plexus, he shoved him roughly. Surprisingly, Goku rolled away easily, no longer tethered. Sanzo frowned down at his still-manacled wrist and tugged.

"Ow! Watch it, asshole." The tug was returned with far greater force.

Sanzo closed his eyes. No. No no no no no no no. The monkey had been bad enough. Why? Why did it have to be Gojyo?

He sighed, watching Hakkai and Goku examining their own newly-forged chains. Then, he was pulled abruptly to his knees as Gojyo stood to shake his fist at the northward horizon. "You bitch!" he bellowed, "I will sin as much as you want, but at least come switch us back!"

 

***

 

The absolute clincher in a long line of degradations was that when they managed to pile into the jeep and head off towards the village, Sanzo had to sit in the back seat. The back fucking seat. Him. Goku was chained to Hakkai, so Goku got to sit up front. It was a fucking travesty. He was so pissed off he could barely see straight.

These thoughts were interrupted by a sharp pain in his rear, perpetrated by a bigger pain in his rear. He glared daggers at Gojyo, who withdrew his hand shamefully and muttered. "Sorry. I can't help it. It's like my mind can't control what my body is doing."

Sanzo snorted in disbelief and blew a cloud of smoke into Gojyo's face. "Yeah, right."

"Hey! You think I want to go around pinching a guy who mutters death threats under his breath?"

"I was not muttering."

The idiot rolled his eyes, as if he had any business criticizing someone else's behavior. "Ah, yes you were."

"Mmmph." In the front seat, Goku was trying to stuff his fat craw with his other boot.   
Whatever Goku had said, Gojyo took it as support for his side of the argument. "See? You're a gun-toting, threat-muttering ass."

Sanzo narrowed his eyes. "How dare you speak to me that way? Do you know who I am?"

 

"Um, yeah. If I didn't know you, I wouldn't be able to insult you with such authority. Hey, Goku, back me up here. The monk's gone batshit crazy, am I right?"

But Goku was now sound asleep, curled up in the front seat and snoring loudly.

"Huh." Gojyo frowned at him, but shrugged it away as irrelevant. Looking up at Sanzo he said, "Hey, does my hair look okay?"

"Shut. Up."

They traveled on in hostile silence, and before long the village was in sight. To the north loomed a great stone castle, the sin-eater's lair. All Sanzo needed now was a plan and enough bullets to take her down for good. Then came that sharp pain again.

"Ow! Damn you!" Grimly, he wondered if he would even make it to the castle without using up all his bullets on these three punks in the jeep.

"Sorry," muttered Gojyo.

Sanzo didn't know how much longer he could stand this. He leaned forward to address the front seat, resentful that such effort should be necessary. "Hakkai, tell your fucking boyfriend to keep his hands to himself."

"I told you," Gojyo insisted pitifully, "I can't help it." At the silence from the driver's seat, he added, "It's this fucking bracelet. I'm not trying to cheat on you, Hakkai, I swear."

More silence, and Sanzo secretly hoped that Hakkai was about to fly into a jealous rage and go thousand-demon-killing crazy on Gojyo's ass. But after a pause, Hakkai said, "I know. It's okay."

"It's not okay," Sanzo shouted. "I'm not going to spend the rest of my life getting molested by this jizzball."

"I told you, I can't…"

"Gojyo's right," Hakkai said quietly. "Our sins are our weaknesses, and these manacles exponentially multiply the most sinful traits in our natures. It's the same for all of us, but different people, different sins. We'll just have to try to keep our baser impulses under control."

With a scoff and a flip of his hair, Gojyo said, "That's easy for you to say, Mr. Virtuous. Sanzo's being an especially pompous ass, Goku's an even bigger lazy shit than usual, and I am looking fantastic in these pants, I must say." He shook his head, trying to reassemble his thoughts. He leaned forward, resting his chin on Hakkai's shoulder, and Sanzo noticed with revulsion that he inhaled deeply, drinking in the scent of his hair, before uttering his next thought. "Hey, Hakkai. We're all going out of our gourds, here, and you're just… normal. What's the deal?"

"Good question," Sanzo said darkly, begrudgingly agreeing with the half-demon despite being attached to the hand that had just vanished into Gojyo's pants. He looked away with a wince, focusing intently on Hakkai's placid profile. "Why are you unaffected? Are you saying you're without sin?"

Hakkai gave a barely perceptible shake of his head. "No one is without sin. Especially me. You should know that better than anyone, Sanzo."

"Oh, I don't know," Gojyo said with a knowing smirk. "I think I've seen a lot more of your sinning than he has."

Sanzo yanked the chain hard, hoping it would shut him up, but Gojyo pitched forward, landing with an "Oof!" and his face buried in Sanzo's lap.

Hakkai looked over his shoulder, eyebrow raised, but before he could say anything, Gojyo hastily scrambled back into his seat. "That was one hundred percent Sanzo's fault," he proclaimed. "Even I'm not that far gone."

Hakkai was about to respond, but he was interrupted by Goku, who jerked suddenly awake, head raised to sniff at the air. "Food! I smell food!"

Gojyo rolled his eyes, while Sanzo uttered every death threat he could conceive. Hakkai sighed. "I think we'd better get him something to eat."

As the jeep trundled under the towering city gates, Sanzo resentfully wondered whether Goku's appetite would be the thing that finally maxed out his charge card.

Suddenly, a particularly hard pinch made him jump. "Ow! Quit it, you fucker!"

"Sorry."

 

***

 

The first restaurant they found was, of all things, an all-you-can-eat buffet. Gojyo thought it was kind of hilarious – these jerks probably had no idea they were about to be put out of business. He made them sit by the window because he'd been dying for the chance to check out his reflection. His hair looked pretty good considering that it had been a long day of fighting, but it wasn't quite perfect. Maybe he should start wearing it up. No, that would never do. Those damned scars did nothing for his otherwise roguishly handsome face.

Hakkai and Sanzo were prattling on about something, while Goku shoveled down food like it was going out of style, empty plates piling up on the table and floor. Satisfied for now, at least until he could get hold of a proper mirror, Gojyo let his attention drift back to the conversation.

Only, the problem was that every time Hakkai started talking, Gojyo stopped listening, unable to focus on anything but the fluid motion of those lips. Hakkai was drinking a cup of tea, or at least trying to, hampered as he was by the constant jerking motion as Goku reached all over the table to pile more food onto his plate. He watched Hakkai bring the delicate cup to his lips, watched them close over the rim, pursing slightly as he took the hot tea into his mouth. The steam was fogging up his monocle. Even that struck Gojyo as sexy somehow. Everything about Hakkai was sexy. Gojyo wanted to fuck him so badly right now it ached. No… actually, he wanted Hakkai to fuck him. He wanted to have his ass pounded raw. He wanted to…

"Pay attention!" Sanzo bellowed directly into his ear, the fucking prick.

"Fuck you."

"As if you haven't been trying." The anger in Sanzo's voice was momentarily contained, but it erupted suddenly as he screamed at Goku. "Close your mouth when you chew! That slurping, chomping, crunching noise is driving me fucking crazy!"

Goku swallowed a huge mouthful of food. "Sorry, Sanzo." For a moment he was quietly contrite, then he proceeded to shove a whole chicken leg into his mouth.

Sanzo turned back to Hakkai. "I don't care what you think. I'm the leader. I'm the only one with any brains around here, so we're going to do what I say. And what I say is that we storm the place and beat the living crap out of her."

Hakkai sighed, looking down into his tea, and Gojyo's dick twitched in response. That downward-tilted head triggered a cascade of unbidden images, images of some of the best blow jobs of his life. It was like the top of Hakkai's head was the most beautiful thing in the universe. In instinctive response to the memories, Gojyo's fingers flexed, gripping silken handfuls of phantom hair.   
But Hakkai wouldn't even look at him. "Your plan isn't overly complicated," he told Sanzo. "I'll give you that."

The monk snarled, snatching away Gojyo's sake while he was otherwise distracted. He leveled his gaze at Hakkai, daring him to be defiant. "You'll give me whatever I want, and you'll like it."

As Hakkai pursed his lips, contemplating how to respond, Gojyo's eyes again drifted to those soft curves, and he stretched out his leg under the table, placing his foot firmly against Hakkai's inner thigh. "Ignore him, Hakkai. You'll like it better if you give me what I want. That's a promise."

Sanzo clocked him over the head with his fan, which made Gojyo jerk involuntarily, pressing his boot harder against Hakkai's leg. Hakkai bit his lip, but did not otherwise betray what was going on beneath the table.  
Fortunately, Sanzo hadn't seemed to notice, the clueless piece of shit, and Gojyo chortled under his breath as the monk growled, "Shut the hell up you perver… Goku, will you please stop that fucking slurping."

"Mmph."

"Look," said Hakkai, making an admirably sane effort to rein in the conversation. "Desdemona is a demon from the far west, way beyond India."

"Yeah?" The holy asshole was haughtily suspicious. "And how do you know that?"

Hakkai templed his fingers in that way he did. It was intellectual-sexy: not usually Gojyo's bag, but something that had recently become quite appealing. At the moment, it made him want to do very wrong things. Visions of strict-teacher-and-naughty-schoolboy danced across his inner eye as Hakkai spoke. "I learned about her kind from stories when I was growing up. The Western religion identifies seven fundamental categories of sin. The sin-eater feeds on the energy of those sins, but it seems she wasn't satisfied with getting her fill the natural way. These manacles amplify those traits." He waved his wrist demonstratively, the chains rattling, but his arm was abruptly jerked to the side as Goku grabbed for a plate of marinated duck on the edge of the table.

"Okay, so she's a Western demon. So what does that tell us?" Gojyo asked, stroking Hakkai's thigh with his boot and wishing it weren't quite so unwieldy. If his feet were bare, he could really get his attention. Wondering idly whether he could convince Goku to eat another pair of shoes, he said, "How do we beat her?" The sooner they got out of this mess, the sooner the monk and the monkey would be out of the way, and he could do whatever he wanted. And right now, he wanted so many things he was worried his pants would split.

"I imagine the first step is overcoming temptation," Hakkai replied, darting his eyes towards him for an instant that was cruelly brief, but squeezing Gojyo's foot between his legs in a far more satisfactory gesture. This action, however, was merely intended to emphasize his next point. "In case you haven't noticed, we're barely functional at the moment."

"Except you, you lucky bastard," Gojyo said, resentful that his foot-fondling efforts didn't seem to be getting the point across. As his own gesture of emphasis, he pushed his foot more firmly into Hakkai's thigh. His boots were too thick for him to tell whether Hakkai was hard, but he positioned his foot under the assumption that he was, shifting it back and forth so that it would brush against his entire length. "Come on, spill it. What are you feeling?"

Hakkai frowned. "I'm just feeling… confused."

Ouch, thought Gojyo. Maybe he was losing his touch, or maybe Hakkai didn't find him attractive anymore. Had he gotten a wrinkle? He glanced sideways into the window, but couldn't really tell.

"Confused," Sanzo repeated derisively. "Yeah, you said that before. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is Confusion a sin, or just Stupidity?"

"Stupidity is not a sin." Hakkai remained wearily patient. How the hell was he keeping it together?

Sanzo rolled his eyes at this plain statement of fact. "Good, because if it were, you'd all be going to hell."

"We follow where you lead, O Great Monk." Gojyo punctuated this flash of sarcasm with a falsely unctuous bow, and, having finally torn his gaze from the unresponsive Hakkai, he noticed, not for the first time today, how appealing Sanzo smelled. Like cigarettes and sake with a faint whiff of flowers, debauchery personified. Foot still caressing Hakkai's groin, Gojyo's bound hand slipped beneath the table, reaching for the white folds of Sanzo's robes. Both of them at once? Now that would be hot. After all, he had always had a thing for blondes, and he knew of a few good techniques for convincing Hakkai to play along. Maybe once the monkey fell asleep…

His groping hand was swatted away by the sharp impact of a paper fan. "Shut the fuck up. And don't you dare touch me, you piece of crap. I don't want any of your fucking diseases." The monk's face was scarlet with fury, and so unattractive in that state that Gojyo found himself again longing for a mirror; a visual palette cleansing, as it were.

"You know what would be really helpful?" he grumbled, cradling his injured hand. "If you were a little more full of yourself."

Sanzo leaned in close, eyes narrowing maliciously. "Oh, what's that?" he said, snatching a handful of Gojyo's crimson locks. "I think I see a gray hair."

Gojyo shrieked and turned toward the window glass, fingers raking through his hair to find that devious little bastard and yank it out.

Behind his head, he heard the sound of a pistol being cocked. Sanzo's voice was low and menacing. "And if you don't stop foot-fucking Hakkai under the table right now, you are fucking corpse."

"Hey Sanzo, could you pass the…"

Bang!

Every patron in the restaurant froze. Their heated argument had driven most of the diners out of the general vicinity, but there was no ignoring the report of a gunshot.

"Sa-Sanzo!" Goku slumped down in the booth, blood flowing freely from his shoulder. Hakkai's arms went around him, pressing a napkin into the wound as he glared at Sanzo in hateful reproach.

"You shot him," Gojyo murmured in astonishment. "You fucking bastard. You actually shot him."

Sanzo grunted disdainfully. "It's not like I killed him or anything. A flesh wound is more than he deserved for not chewing with his mouth closed."

"Gojyo," Hakkai said darkly, his voice thick with controlled anger. "Sanzo cannot be trusted with a gun, not in this state. Wrestle him to the ground and take it."

"With. Pleasure." Gojyo pounced, tackling Sanzo out of his seat and pinning him to the floor. His hands groped wildly, the physical contact fueling his strength.

"Get the hell off of me, faggot." Sanzo screamed, thrashing wildly beneath him.

The words had no effect, they only spurred him on, and Gojyo's searching hand found its mark.

Sanzo's eyes narrowed, his voice quiet and laden with danger. "That is not my gun."

"Oh really? My mistake." Gojyo squeezed hard, making Sanzo gasp in pain. Then he plucked the gun – the actual gun – out of his spasming hand and handed it to Hakkai with a gallant bow.

"So," he said, arching an eyebrow in his most lusty fashion, "do I get a reward?"

Hakkai smiled, tucking the gun into the inner folds of his tunic. "Oh, definitely. A big one." But as Gojyo bounded forward to claim his prize, bleeding Goku be damned, he was warded off by a staying hand. "You'll get it later," Hakkai said calmly. "After this is all over."

"But I won't enjoy it as much then."

"You'll enjoy it more. I promise." Ignoring Gojyo's pout of disappointment, Hakkai turned his attention to Goku, who, despite the pain, had fallen asleep with a dumpling in his mouth. "The bullet went through clean, and it's fairly superficial. I should be able to patch him up."

"Then what?" asked Gojyo, tugging the chain for emphasis and making Sanzo flop gracelessly on the floor.

"Then we do just what Sanzo suggested. We go to that demon's castle and beat the crap out of her."

 

***

 

Suspiciously, no guards were stationed at the castle gates, and that simple fact made Hakkai nervous. They were expected, obviously, but there was no sign of a resistance force to prevent them from entering. That demon was smart – she had used their own weaknesses to debilitate them – and he wasn't altogether certain they could win. Not without overcoming their greatest temptations, anyway. He tried not to think about what was happening or how it was affecting him, tried not to grimace every time Gojyo made a pass at Sanzo, tried not to wonder whether Goku would resort to cannibalism if they remained chained together much longer.

"Okay," he said, bracing himself for the challenge that awaited them, "let's go."

The entrance hall was desolate and cold, with stone walls towering for stories above their heads. Demon gargoyles stared down at them from the upper levels, but the stone eyes were unseeing, the hall utterly abandoned. Still, there was a stately grandeur about the place, making him feel mildly embittered by the fact that the nicest residence he had ever occupied was a one-room cottage in a backwater village.

Apparently, Hakkai was not the only one who was impressed. "Nice digs, Triple D," Gojyo said with a low whistle. "I bet with a pad like this, you could get all the ass you want without even trying."

"'Triple D?' What the fuck is that?" growled Sanzo with contempt.

"Her name, shitbag. Desdemona, Demon Dominatrix. Triple D. I'm guessing it's also her cup size. Did you see those things? You could lose your whole face in there."

Sanzo flung his still-lit cigarette to the ground and cast a sideways glare at Hakkai. "Did you hear what he said? You putting up with this shit?"

Hakkai's response was as quiet and controlled as he could make it, striving to hold on to the knowledge that Gojyo was not quite himself, or rather more of himself than was natural. "For now, yes I am."

Goku was staring at the gabled ceiling with open astonishment. "Wow! Hey, if we kill her, do we get to keep this place? Like, the spoils of battle or whatever?"

"You don't, hairball," Sanzo scoffed. "When I kill this demon…"

"Triple D," prompted Gojyo.

"When I kill this demon," the monk went on, "her castle will belong to me. I could use a residence befitting my stature. Camping out with you jackasses month after month has been unspeakably degrading."

"Oh, I'll show you degrading," said Gojyo, yanking Sanzo towards him with their chain. "That stick up your ass must make one hell of a butt plug. For your sake, I hope it's a thick one."

"Stop it!" Hakkai shouted, pushing them apart. This room had an aura about it, something unnatural, and he could barely control his jealousy over Gojyo's advances towards the monk, however artificially induced. But his thoughts of jealousy went hand in hand with thoughts of desire, of anger and resentment towards Sanzo, and of the egotistical notion that Gojyo would never, in his right mind, choose Sanzo above him. With these thoughts his jealousy ebbed, and he began to feel a bit more in control.

He expected Gojyo to lash out at having his desires unfulfilled, but it was Sanzo who whirled on him, eyes flashing. "Give me my fucking gun so I can kill this asshole."

"No, I told you before: you can't be trusted…"

"But it's mine. What the hell do you need a gun for? Give it to me now or I'll…"

"Or you'll what?" Gojyo was between them now, protectively shielding Hakkai from the monk's wrath while covertly attempting to grope him behind his back.

"Hey, what if we sold this place? How much food do you think we could buy?" Goku was apparently oblivious to the conflict, and merely stood gaping and rubbing his newly-healed shoulder.

Abandoning his attack on Hakkai, Sanzo rounded on Goku instead. "Shut the fuck up. I don't need a gun. I'll kill you with my bare hands."

"I was just wondering, is all."

"Well keep your thoughts to yourself," Gojyo spat. "You're the lucky one, you know. I'd kill to be the one chained to Hakkai."

Sanzo spat on the floor, disgust marring his features. "That's only because he's fool enough to let himself be your piece of ass. I, for one, would never stoop so low."

"Oh, like you could ever attract a guy as hot as me."

"Your delusions never fail to amaze."

"I'm hungry."

"Yeah, well I'm horny. Suck it up."

Hakkai shook his head – this was worse than he had expected. The manacles were bad enough, but the aura of this castle was bringing out additional sin. Still, he noticed that the prevailing sins did not vanish – at least here, they might use it to their advantage.

"The demon's probably somewhere further inside," he pointed out, noticing with satisfaction that Sanzo broke off bickering and looked up with bald fury. "And is that scallion pancakes I smell?"

Both Sanzo and Goku took off at a run for the door at the far end of the hall, dragging their involuntary companions behind.

 

***

 

Hakkai hadn't been lying about the smell of scallions. In the next room they were met with a long banquet table laid out with a sumptuous feast, full of delicacies from both East and West. Naturally, Goku went charging to devour it, dragging Hakkai along behind him as he made a beeline for a fat, suckling pig at the center of the spread. He plucked the apple out of its mouth, shoved it in his own, and made a grab for a tray of pastries before he finished chewing.

Staring in amazement at the feast, Hakkai was able to resist the temptation of the delectable aromas. That was, until he saw the wine. The table bore the usual rice wine, but also wine made from grapes, which was the undoing of his resolve. Anchored to Goku's unmovable, feasting from, he couldn't help pouring himself a brimming goblet and drinking deep.

At the entrance, Sanzo had wrapped the chain connecting him to Gojyo around a pillar, preventing either of them from approaching the table, and overtly ignoring Gojyo's plaintive complaints. Unmoved by the temptation of the feast, he watched Hakkai and Goku with wary eyes. Goku's predictable gluttony provoked a grunt of annoyance, but when he saw Hakkai throwing back the wine like it was water, his anger was riled.

"What the hell are you doing, idiot?" He shouted. "Are you trying to get drunk while I'm about to kick some demon ass?"

"He won't get drunk," Gojyo drawled, wrapping himself around the pillar as if humping inanimate objects were perfectly natural and acceptable. "As far as I've seen, Hakkai never gets drunk." He paused, rubbing his chin contemplatively, before adding, "But this might be a rare exception that could prove mighty convenient." His lecherous smile spread, and he relaxed against the pillar, his fantasies turning towards more animate targets.

"Put that fucking goblet down immediately!" Sanzo demanded.

Gojyo countered with, "Drink, Hakkai, drink!"

Hakkai drank, tasting the unfamiliar flavors of the Western wine, feeling it coat his tongue with tannin. The flavor was thick and heady, making his entire mouth tingle. He lost himself in the wine, barely aware of Goku gorging himself a few feet away.

Sanzo was just within reach of the table, but he refused to relinquish his firm grip on the half-demon, who strained longingly towards it. Realizing the effort was futile, Gojyo turned his sights on the monk, leering at him predatorily as he watched Goku and Hakkai eat and drink their fill.

Tilting his head to the side, Gojyo regarded Sanzo speculatively, then leaned forward to lick his neck, brushing his tongue determinedly from shoulder to jawline. Hakkai stopped drinking, his attention redirected to the interaction at the far end of the room.

Thankfully, Sanzo recoiled, shoving the half-demon away, but when Gojyo drew in for a kiss, the monk hastily snatched a dumpling from the table and shoved it into his open, expectant mouth.

At first disconcerted, Gojyo soon lost his pique as soon as he tasted the food. "Hey," he mumbled around the dumpling, "this is pretty good!"

The dumpling swallowed, Gojyo dove in for another attempted kiss, but Sanzo again deflected it with a fistful of food. "You wanna do something about this, Hakkai, or just sit there flooding your gullet, you fucking drunk?"

Irrespective of Sanzo's taunts, Hakkai had stopped drinking, the wine suddenly bitter in his mouth. The sight of Gojyo throwing himself so blatantly at Sanzo was enough to sober even the most inebriated of spirits. He stood, straightened his tunic, and resolved to help, to get them out of this room and its myriad temptations.

Bracing himself, he glanced at Goku, who had continued to eat with no sign of slagging. With a deep breath and a spring, he took him down, chair and all, pinning his struggling form beneath his own body until the flailing limbs slowed and stilled, and the room was pervaded with the soft sounds of his snoring.

When he looked up, Sanzo and Gojyo were standing over him, the former with a look of irritated satisfaction – pleased with the result, but annoyed that it had taken so long – and the latter with an expression of disappointment.

"You see?" Gojyo told Sanzo, punching him in the shoulder. "If you had just let me eat something, that could have been me down there."

Careful not to wake his charge, Hakkai rose, hefted Goku over his shoulder, and whispered to the others, "Come on."

On his way out, Hakkai grabbed a meat bun and stashed it in his tunic, while Gojyo lingered over a pot of honey, musing about its many possible uses. But a yank on the chain from Sanzo forced him onward, and soon they were crossing the threshold of the banquet room into a long, wide hall studded by pillars and the next set of dangers.

 

***

 

The following chamber was empty when they entered it, the only sound their footsteps echoing across the high ceiling. The stone walls were lined with tapestries, and miraculously none of them depicted feasting, fornication, or any other acts of hedonism. For a brief, exquisite moment, Hakkai foolishly hoped that they might have caught a break and wandered into the one room in the castle that was innocuous. But just as they reached the halfway point, the ceiling rumbled ominously.

For an instant all was silent, then he felt something strike his head and bounce down onto the floor, then another and another. It wasn't painful – the object was soft – but there was no question that they were being bombarded with something, and given their experience in the castle so far, that something couldn't be good.

The gentle impacts roused Goku from his slumber, and he struggled until Hakkai put him down. When he next looked around, the floor was carpeted with pink. A fuzzy, noisy pink. A fuzzy, noisy pink that was moving.

"What the fuck?" Sanzo knelt down and scooped up one of the objects that had hit them – it was a small, spherical creature with big, round eyes inset deep within its mass of pink fur. Its stubby legs waved frantically in the air as Sanzo held it suspended, and it emitted incessant high-pitched beeping noises. "Is this supposed to be a threat?"

Sanzo crushed the creature in his fist, and it fell away into a jumble of gears and springs as he dropped it to the floor. The rest of the creatures began beeping more loudly. Hakkai was already starting to get a headache.

"You know, this is kind of satisfying," Gojyo mused, stomping on every creature within reach with his heavy boots. The crunch of their destruction was barely audible over the unbearable keening of the survivors, which grew louder by the moment. Goku pressed his hands over his ears, but that didn't seem to help, so he manifested his nyoibo and began sweeping them away in broad swaths. But the instant a stretch of floor was cleared, it was immediately filled up again with more infuriating automatons. Their numbers were apparently infinite.

"I am going to destroy every last one of these little bastards," Sanzo roared, stomping along with Gojyo with just as little net effect. His face was scarlet with inordinate fury – unsurprising in a man for whom, even on a normal day, the slightest annoyance triggered an explosion of wrath. Still, he was rapidly shedding all self-control, and Hakkai knew they could spend hours in this chamber, killing and killing without making any progress.

Enraged by the futility of the physical approach, Sanzo took it into his head to try a mystical one. He brought his hands together and began chanting his most powerful sutra, softly at first but soon escalating into a strained and gravely voice. Though his eyes were closed, his eyelids trembled as if it were an unbearable strain just to keep them in place. By the time he reached his final words, he was bellowing.

"MAKAI TENJOU!"

Gojyo rubbed his hands together in anticipation of the utter destruction that was to follow, but no divine wrath descended upon the wriggling, beeping creatures. The scripture was still.

"What the…?" Sanzo's eyes flew open, and he looked down at his shoulders, snatching at the unresponsive parchment. "Why you goddamned fucking piece of shit!" He shouted at the scripture. "I should use you for toilet paper! I should give you to Gojyo to jerk off into!"

Doubling over with laughter, Gojyo gasped out, "Now that is some impious shit, my friend. But, hey, I'm game." He started unbuckling his belt with one hand and reached out for the scripture with the other.

Trembling with rage, Sanzo slapped his hand away decisively. "It was a figure of speech, nutsack."

In his disappointment, Gojyo turned to Hakkai for answers, having to yell amid the rising din of the powder puffs, which seemed to have doubled in number. "Hey! Why didn't it work?"

"I can't be positive," Hakkai shouted back, "but since the scripture is a Buddhist artifact, I imagine it can't be operated without at least some degree of inner peace."

"Ha! Nice try. Since when did this cocksucker ever have inner peace?"

Sanzo's hand shot out to grip Gojyo's throat. "You dare call me a cocksucker? You spend so much time on you knees you drool sperm."

Through gasping breaths, Gojyo managed to plaintively respond, "Stop… giving me… ideas…"

Hakkai squeezed his eyes closed and tried to think. Those morons' bickering was getting almost as aggravating as the beeping, and he suspected his ears would start bleeding at any moment. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Goku pathetically jabbing at the creatures with his staff. Each time he squashed one, five more dropped down from the ceiling. Had the scrawny piss-ant never heard of a little thing called math?

So deep was Hakkai in this rumination that he didn't notice the sounds of choking and grappling die away, and he was thus surprised when his thoughts were disrupted by fists suddenly gripping his tunic. His field of vision was abruptly filled with Sanzo's rage-contorted face. "Don't just stand there, you moron," he screamed, spittle flying from his lips. "Help us! Chi-cannon these little fuckers!"

Unsure how else to appease him, Hakkai complied. His focus was disrupted by conflicted emotions, so his chi was weaker than usual, but nevertheless he managed to clear away a thin path of the creatures, a path that instantly melted and replenished into a morass of pink fur. They were knee deep in the things now, and, just as he had known it would, his blast of chi had only compounded the matter. They had to get out of that chamber. Why was he the only one who could see that?

"This is futile, Sanzo, just ignore them! Let's just wade across the room and get out of here!"

"No! I have to kill them all!"

That was it. Hakkai's long-suffering patience was at an end. "Fuck you, Sanzo!"

 

Everyone else froze, mid-stomp, and stared at him. He was already angrier than he had been in a long time, and the fact that they all looked so scandalized at his use of one fucking expletive pissed him off even more.

"Hey," Goku snarled, shoving him fiercely from behind. "Don't talk to Sanzo like that."

Gojyo leapt to his defense, lunging at Goku with clenched fists. "Stop damaging the merchandise, you little shit. I have plans for that body later on."

Though Goku jumped out of range, showing surprising agility for a person thigh-deep in fluff, the evasion was unnecessary. Sanzo yanked hard on the chain, pulling Gojyo back. "You're all assholes."

"That's it, we're leaving." Hakkai's voice was arctic, and he began trudging towards the exit, dragging a reluctant Goku behind him.

"But we can't leave!" Goku pleaded. "Sanzo is…"

"Sanzo is being an irrational jerk, and we don't need him. If he wants to stay here stomping on powder puffs all day, that's fine. We'll kill the demon without his help."

The beeping had grown so loud that he was beginning to see bursts of color in front of his eyes, and when they reached the door, Hakkai just barely heard Gojyo shout, "You bastard! Don't leave me here with him!"

"It can't be helped," Hakkai shouted back. "You're chained to a liability. Goku and I will finish this without you."

Gojyo began to protest, but couldn't summon a rational argument, so he stomped on a few puffs dejectedly and shoved Sanzo in the shoulder.

The monk shoved him back, toppling him onto a pile of beeping creatures, and trained his furious gaze upon Hakkai. "Like hell you can do this without me," Sanzo roared. "I'm the only one who can kill this demon. Without me, you bunch of fuckwits couldn't figure out how to take a piss."

Hakkai folded his arms dubiously. "Oh yeah? Then prove it."

"Fine. I will." And Sanzo stomped towards the door, raising his feet high so as to crush the teeming, beeping creatures with greater force. Rather than let himself be dragged behind him, Gojyo managed to scramble his feet.

Sanzo drew up to Hakkai, decked him, shoved Goku out of the way, and stepped haughtily through the door.

 

***

 

As soon as Hakkai saw the mirrors, he forgot about the pain in his jaw. They had emerged into a long hallway with tall, ornate mirrors covering both of the walls. Each one contained an infinite number of reflections, and without even turning around to look at his companions, he knew this was going to be a problem.   
A few steps from the entrance, Gojyo stood transfixed, enraptured by his own image, and he would not budge no matter how much Sanzo shouted or pulled at their chain. Pondering, Hakkai recalled how they had made it through the previous rooms: the key was in challenging the precedence of sin. Sanzo's wrath and Goku's gluttony had motivated them to pass through the chamber of avarice. In the second chamber, sloth had superseded gluttony, allowing them to drag Goku away. Finally, Hakkai had been able to lure Sanzo out of the chamber of wrath by questioning his value and insulting his pride. Now Gojyo was held fixed by his vanity, and there was only one sin that could overcome it.

While Goku peered down the hallway with mild curiosity, Hakkai positioned himself between Gojyo and the mirror, blocking his view. Gojyo leaned from side to side, trying to get a better look, but Hakkai stood firm, resisting every attempt to push him out of the way. His opportunity came when, after an unsuccessful shove, Gojyo's long fingers lingered on his shoulder, and he managed to distract him from his reflection with a suggestive smile. Gojyo lifted an eyebrow and smiled in return, stepping forward to embrace him, but Hakkai's arms were around him before he had a chance to pounce. Giving in to the moment, he kissed Gojyo passionately, nibbling at his lower lip as he drew away. Gojyo looked into his eyes, at first with a sweet smile, then with a predatory smirk. Hakkai found himself backed against the wall, mindless of the mirrors that lined it, as Gojyo tore at his shirt, not bothering with clasps or fastenings.

He shifted away from the wall, moving subtly backwards as Gojyo pursued him toward the far end of the corridor, smothering him with kisses, while Sanzo trudged behind, looking mortified by the whole experience. Behind him, he could hear Goku shuffling slowly along, eyes no doubt fixed to the floor. Gojyo's insistent passion was nearly overwhelming, but Hakkai now understood the way to keep himself under control. He thought of wine and delectable feasts, felt righteous fury at the evils perpetrated all over the world, embraced the sorrow of the perfect, simple life that he had once enjoyed, that so many people enjoyed, but which was now denied him forever. So thinking, he was able to keep from becoming engulfed in Gojyo's passion, and he broke away long enough to hiss, "Break a mirror."

Sanzo hadn't been paying attention, so he repeated himself the next time Gojyo went up for air. "Break a mirror on the way out! Grab one of the shards!"

"Fuck you. You do it."

"I'm a little busy now."

"Tch. So I noticed."

"Look, if you break that mirror it could help us later on. You'd be the one to save us."

"Of course I'll save us. You don't need to be so fucking condescending, you know. I was going to break a mirror anyway. You say it like it's some brilliant fucking inspiration, but I thought of it the moment we entered this stupid room."

And at that, Sanzo blanketed his fist in his sleeve and swung it violently sideways, managing to snatch one of the larger pieces before Gojyo, in pursuit of the carefully retreating Hakkai, pulled him away.

As they passed the final pair of mirrors facing each other at the end of the hall, Hakkai was finally tempted. Gojyo's ardent attentions had rendered him unable to turn his head, but he glanced sideways out of his good eye in hopes of catching a glimpse of his face. Throughout his life, people had described him as "pretty", but he had never seen it that way. In his eyes, he was just an ordinary guy. But perhaps now, under the mystic influence of this castle, he would be able to see himself otherwise.

In the polished glass he caught sight of a man, tall and lanky but not too skinny. He saw the muscles of arms and chest, flesh exposed from where Gojyo had torn his tunic away. He saw a firm jaw, high cheekbones, and one entrancing emerald eye. In this vision of himself, he was still ordinary, but ordinary honed to a fine perfection. He was the epitome of what a regular person should look like, save for the bright glint of light cast by the chandeliers upon the three silver limiters that girded his ear. If this was what he really looked like, he wasn't going to complain. For a moment he was entranced, but then his view was obscured by a mass of red hair as Gojyo tilted his head to kiss the skin of his neck. He felt a sharp pain on the spot where neck met shoulder as Gojyo bit down, breaking the skin, and sucked hard.

When Gojyo drew away, returning to Hakkai's lips, that pale skin was marked by an angry purple bruise, its perfection damaged. For a moment, Hakkai was angry that his beauty should be so disfigured, but then he saw not just himself, but himself and Gojyo, saw the uninhibited need as Gojyo pressed their bodies together, and his own hands fisting into the fabric of Gojyo's vest. The imagery inspired another temptation altogether, and despite himself he gave into it fully. He plunged his hands under Gojyo's shirt and up the hot skin of his back, exploring each muscular contour. Each touch was an act of ecstasy. A sense of imminent need flared up within him, and he became suddenly cognizant of Gojyo's hardness pressed firmly against his own.

Sensing the sudden upswing in Hakkai's enthusiasm, Gojyo smiled mischievously and dropped to his knees, fumbling with Hakkai's belt. Hakkai pressed back against the door, knowing that this was just what he wanted, but struggling to stay focused. They had to get out, to move on to the next horrible temptation.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," roared a furious voice as Sanzo grabbed Gojyo by the hair and yanked him violently away from Hakkai, his belt still only half-unbuckled. "You two are pathetic. If I had my gun, I could fix this right now."

Hakkai blinked in bewilderment, slowly coming back to his senses, but before he had recovered the door behind him was flung open and he staggered backwards.

"Hey, you guys!" Goku exclaimed. "This next room is full of beds!"

Goku charged forward, towards a huge, luxurious bed in the center of the room, dragging Hakkai along the floor behind him.

In the distance, he could hear Gojyo shouting, "You stupid ape! Come back here with Hakkai!"

 

***

 

"You know, after all we've been through together, I never thought I'd catch you in bed with the monkey." Gojyo's voice was more playful than angry, but it bore a tenor of danger.

Hakkai blinked. His recent memory was a blur, save for the remembered sensation of searing friction as he was dragged across the floor. This recollection was supported by the sharp sting on his back, where swaths of skin had been scraped away on the stone. His tunic was in tatters, but the sleeve still bound the elbow of his left arm, the one chained to Goku.

Lolling his head to the side, he saw Goku sleeping soundly, a smile of unadulterated pleasure plastered across his face. They were lying on a bed of soft down, scattered with rose petals, and the air was heavy with incense. It smelled like a bordello.

The mattress sunk down on his right side, and he looked up to find Gojyo sitting beside him, smiling down with a lascivious gleam.

"This is going to be great," Gojyo said huskily. "When's the last time we got a chance to get busy on a bed this nice?"

"Um… never?" Hakkai didn't think he'd ever even seen a bed that nice, let alone occupied one.

"Well, there's a first time for everything. Now, where were we?" His hands again went fumbling for Hakkai's belt. Unable to resist, wanting this as much as Gojyo, Hakkai just lay back on the bed, overwhelmed by dreamy comfort. Goku's snoring – usually loud and disruptive – now seemed like a lullaby.

Gojyo planted a trail of kisses down his chest and began to hitch his pants down over his hips, but his ministrations were again interrupted by Sanzo's angry voice.

"Hey, cockroach. Over here."

"Busy," Gojyo mumbled as clearly as possible for someone whose tongue was occupied tracing out the contours of someone else's lower abdomen.

"I don't give a shit. Look at me."

"I told you, you high and mighty fuck, I'm…" But as Gojyo whipped his head around to lash out at the monk, he saw not Sanzo's angry face, but his own reflection in the fragment of mirror. His anger instantly dissipated, and his hand withdrew from Hakkai's flesh, making him shudder in the sudden cold. Gojyo tilted his head, enraptured by his own reflection, then turned his face from side to side, trying to inspect his profile.

"Which do you think is my best side?"

"Neither," Sanzo snarled. "Now let's get going." He took a step backwards, but Gojyo made a grab for the mirror, leaving the monk only enough time to shout out "Hakkai!"

Despite his torpor, Hakkai responded instantly, wrapping his legs around Gojyo's waist to restrain him. Gojyo thrashed and struggled until Sanzo brought the mirror closer, still out of reach, but at least within range for proper self-inspection, at which point his body relaxed and he again began admiring his reflection.

With the half-demon subdued, at least temporarily, Sanzo glared at Hakkai and said, "Hand me that nyoibo."

Still stupid with sleep, it took him a moment to process the order, but then he spotted the long staff that had been abandoned next to Goku's sleeping form. Uncertainly, he handed it to Sanzo, who barked. "Now tear of a strip off that sash of yours. A thin one. And make it quick."

Confused but obedient, Hakkai complied, too befuddled to resent the lack of gratitude with which the strip of cloth was snatched out of his hand. "Now hold him down. Keep those legs wrapped around him as tight as you can." At this last statement, Sanzo's eyes rolled heavenward, and he muttered, "Fuck… I never thought I would have to say something like that."

Compliantly, Hakkai squeezed his legs tighter, feeling that urge rise again as Gojyo's lusty gaze left the mirror and fixed upon him. It took all of his strength to keep Gojyo in place and all of his willpower to keep the situation from getting out of hand. The temptation to sleep was almost as strong as his desire to rip Gojyo's clothes off, but he tempered them both with thoughts of Gojyo's annoying habits – his indiscriminate requisitioning of inappropriate objects for ashtrays, his slovenly housekeeping skills, his habit of provoking Goku into being even more annoying than usual – all the little things that secretly pissed Hakkai off.   
Working with prim efficiency, Sanzo took the shard of mirror and used the sash to construct a crude harness. He affixed this to the end of the staff and held it out, dangling it in front of Gojyo's face. The half-demon desisted both his struggling and his groping, peering rapturously at his own reflection as Sanzo slowly backed away. At a nod from Sanzo, Hakkai released his grip, and Gojyo calmly abandoned the bed to gaze at the silvered shard. He made a few half-hearted grabs at the mirror, but Sanzo held the nyoibo at arm's length, keeping the precious object carefully out of reach. Finally, Gojyo gave up trying and accepted the fact that he would just have to admire himself from a distance.

Sanzo snorted with a combination of satisfaction and disgust. "I have to do everything around here. Now grab the monkey and let's get going."

Hakkai reluctantly struggled out of the bed and tugged on the chain, but Goku had become suddenly heavy – either that or his own muscles were too weakened by weariness to lift him. After several failed efforts, he sighed and gave up. There had to be another way.

"Hurry up, damn you."

His senses starting to clear now that he was out of the bed, Hakkai suddenly remembered the meat bun he had secretly smuggled out of the banquet hall, thinking that it might come in handy. Its scent was overwhelmed by the heady fragrance of the chamber, but he hoped that Goku's keen sense of smell would be their salvation. Cautiously, ready to snatch it away, he held the bun under Goku's nose until his eyes fluttered open.

"Food!" Goku was instantly awake and making a grab for the bun, but his reflexes were slower than usual, and Hakkai lifted it high over his head. Eyes fixed on the coveted snack, Goku obediently crawled out of bed.

"Finally," Sanzo growled, and together they made their way to the far side of the room, luring their chain-mates along with temptations just out of reach.

 

***

 

The final chamber, Hakkai thought. This has to be the final chamber. They'd been through Avarice and Gluttony, Wrath and Vanity, and assuming the last chamber was a combination of Sloth and Lust, there was only one sin left. But how could the demon possibly hope to stop them with Pride? Weakened, they might be, but they were still damn strong, and they hadn't been beaten yet – not by Desdemona, not by anyone.

The chamber was empty, free of objects of temptation, but to Hakkai's dismay he saw that there was no door on the far side of the room, only a stone pedestal. Free of the previous chamber, Goku and Gojyo had recovered themselves somewhat, at least to the extent that they didn't need to be led along like mules with a carrot. Still, Gojyo flirtatiously plucked a rose petal out of Hakkai's hair, and Goku wailed with disappointment when Hakkai forbade him to eat the meat bun, handing it to Sanzo instead.

 

When they reached the pedestal, they found that it bore a square indentation occupied by nine cubes with a carving on each face. Above this was the inscription, "A puzzle only the great Sanzo can solve."

"This shouldn't take long," Sanzo snorted, shoving the others away so he could stand directly in front of the puzzle. He began turning and rearranging the cubes until their seemingly arbitrary patterns combined to form a distinct symbol – the word for sin. Still, despite the clear conclusion, there was one part of the symbol out of line, and no matter how many pieces the monk shifted and flipped, the final fragment eluded him. He swore vehemently, but did not give up.

"Let us help you," Hakkai insisted once almost an hour had gone by. All previous attempts to provide aid and advice had been sharply rebuffed, despite the fact that Hakkai knew he could solve the puzzle, no matter what that stupid inscription said.

"No. I'm the only one who can solve this, so your job is to keep out of my way."

"But…"

"But nothing. Just shut the hell up – I'm trying to concentrate."

Hakkai sighed in aggravation and looked over at Gojyo, whose hand was resting on his ass with possessive satisfaction. Hakkai smiled. How many guys in the world were appealing enough to convince Gojyo to switch teams? No one but him, he'd wager. Realizing that he was succumbing to the power of the chamber, he strove to clear his thoughts, focusing instead on his annoyance at Sanzo's stubborn behavior. He leaned in close, but not too close, and whispered, "We've got to find a way to distract him."

Eyebrows raised, Gojyo thought for a moment and suggested, "We could have sex right here on the floor. That would distract him, I bet."

"That's not quite what I had in mind."

"You're no fun."

Shaking his head, Hakkai glanced at Sanzo, still completely engrossed in the puzzle, then down at Goku, who was sitting on the floor clutching his stomach in famished agony. That was when inspiration struck. Sometimes, he was nothing short of brilliant.

"Hey, Goku," Hakkai said with convincing casualness. "Sanzo has that meat bun you want. I bet if you ask him enough times, he'll give it to you."

"Really?" Goku exclaimed, eyes suddenly alight. "You think so?"

"Give it a try."

With an expression of avid anticipation, Goku struggled to his feet and tugged on Sanzo's robes. "Sanzo! Can I have…?"

"Shut up and leave me alone."

"But I'm hungry! Please, please give me…"

"I said shut up!"

Gojyo was catching on now, and he prompted, "You'd better not give it to him, baldy. Hakkai entrusted you with that meat bun because he knew you were the only one who could protect it."

Sanzo's eyes narrowed, and his face hardened with determination. He had two missions now: to solve the puzzle and to protect the meat bun at all costs.

"Come on, come on, it's just one lousy meat bun!"

"I said no!"

But Goku was not to be put off. He grabbed Sanzo from behind and pulled him away from the puzzle, hands plunging into his robes in search of his prize. First startled, then infuriated by this affront, Sanzo whipped out his fan and began beating Goku over the head and shoulders. Gojyo leapt towards the puzzle, while Hakkai placed himself between him and their struggling companions, bravely serving as a human shield. As the half-demon grabbed the mismatched piece, it began to glow a blinding white, and then a new set of symbol fragments appeared. Gojyo found the right engraving, thrust it into the puzzle, and suddenly the room rumbled as the pedestal descended into the ground, revealing a stone stairway beneath.

Halting his assault on Goku, Sanzo frowned, reached into his robes, and tossed Goku the bun. Then he turned to Gojyo with folded arms and said, "I did most of it."

"Yup," replied Gojyo sarcastically. "You're a real hero." Then, inclining his head towards the newly revealed exit, he said, "I'm betting Triple D is waiting for us at the bottom of those stairs."

"But how do we beat her?" Goku asked, gulping down the last swallow of bun. "She was too fast for us last time."

"That bitch tried to use our sins against us," said Sanzo darkly. "I think it's time we start using our sins against her."

That was just what Hakkai was going to suggest, but it was risky. If they meant to embrace the temptations of sin to defeat her, they would need to resist them as well. And in the fading effects of the Pride chamber, he wasn't altogether certain that they were strong enough.

 

***

 

The bottom of the stairs opened up into a wide, circular dungeon, its walls ornamented with instruments of torture, sex toys, and in some cases both. In the center of the room, Desdemona was lounging in an ornate throne, her eyes closed in bliss. At the sound of their footsteps her eyelids fluttered open, and she regarded them with complacent satisfaction. Smiling, she rose and ran her hands sensuously along her leather-clad form.

"Not bad," she cooed, strolling to the wall and prodding at one of the spikes in an iron maiden until her fingertip blossomed with a tiny droplet of red. Further reddening her lips with a smear of blood, she drew the finger into her mouth and sucked at it gently. To Hakkai, it looked as if she were imbibing a strong opiate. "You managed to utilize your secondary sins to cancel out the prevailing ones and escape all my chambers of temptation. I'm impressed." Giving her finger a final lick, she smacked her lips in satisfaction. "And what a feast you've provided."

"I hope you enjoyed your final meal," Sanzo spat. "Because we're taking you down."

She lifted an eyebrow in challenge. "Oh you are, are you?" At the snap of her fingers, soft music suddenly filled the chamber, and Hakkai felt a tug at his arm as Goku swayed and dropped off to sleep.

At the sight, Sanzo winced and shook his head. "That idiot. Gojyo, can you believe…?"

But Gojyo wasn't listening. His eyes were wide as he stared at the sin-eater, who was slowly undoing the zippers along the seams of her leather pants, revealing long, shapely legs beneath. She locked eyes with his, beckoning him. Hakkai started forward, hoping to keep Gojyo from succumbing, but Goku was immovable. He was chained to the spot.

"It seems that your boyfriend is otherwise occupied," Desdemona purred, flashing Gojyo a flirtatious smile of false contrition. "Perhaps he could spare you… just for a little while."

Gojyo blinked rapidly, but did not turn to Hakkai in his indecision. Instead, he pushed his hair out of his face and strode purposefully towards her. "Well, maybe just this once."

Accompanying him under protest, Sanzo growled. "Don't you dare. Get your brain out of your cock for once. It's bad enough watching you molesting Hakkai, but if you touch that tramp, I swear I will kill you."

"Go ahead," Gojyo said dreamily, grabbing Desdemona roughly around the waist and running his chained hand down her leg. "At least I'll die happy." With a lewd smile, he placed a kiss on the top of each of her breasts and began undoing the ties of her bodice."

The demon threw her head back, purring in ecstasy, and cast a triumphant look at Sanzo, who was shaking with fury. "Lucky you, you get to watch."

"I said I would kill him, and I wasn't fucking joking." He thrust his hand forward, spanning the sparse gap between their bodies, and brought the chain around, encircling Gojyo's throat. Hakkai could only watch in horror as Sanzo throttled him with the chain.

Through desperate gasps, Gojyo said, "You bastard! At least let me do her before you kill me."

The demon was laughing with delight, her hands roving over Gojyo's body as Sanzo choked the life slowly out of him; her pleasure was clearly elevated by the knowledge that she was fondling a dying man. She was distracted, at least, and it was now or never. Much longer and Gojyo would be dead. Reaching into his tattered tunic, Hakkai found the banishing gun, but he wasn't much of a shot at this range, and Gojyo's body was blocking most of his target. Sanzo clearly had murder on his mind, but he would just have to take the risk.

"Sanzo!" he cried, and flung the revolver at the tangled threesome, even as he concentrated on mustering his chi. In a tangle of simultaneous events, Sanzo caught the gun and whirled away from Gojyo, while Gojyo dropped to his knees, manifesting his shakujo. His shot now clear, Hakkai released his chi cannon, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Goku leap to his feet and fling his nyoibo towards the stunned demon. As the two projectiles struck, searing her flesh and piercing her torso, Sanzo fired and Gojyo leapt up for a backhanded slice, the bullet penetrating her head just as the blade removed it.

Time seemed to stop as the decapitated head fell away from the seared and brutalized body. Slowly, she fell, dissolving into a shower of fine diamond dust just as she hit the floor. Goku's staff rattled to the ground, the noise echoing in the vast chamber.

The now-accustomed pain in Hakkai's left wrist suddenly abated, and he heard the sharp metallic clunk of the manacles clattering to the floor. He glanced down at Goku, who had collapsed in exhaustion after his attack, and saw that where the broad bracelet had once bound him, two livid symbols had been seared into his flesh. He looked down at his own wrist, noticed that he, too, had received a parting brand, and hurriedly shoved his sleeve down to cover it.

Across the chamber, Gojyo was rubbing his throat irritably – the chain had left deep bruises and broken the skin in places so that blood was trickling down his chest and back. "Way to pull your punches, asshole."

Sanzo scoffed and fumbled in his robes to find his pack of cigarettes. Lighting one, he mumbled. "It had to look believable. Besides, it was win-win. Either she fell for it, or I got to kill you."

Hakkai lingered back until he remembered that he was now free to come and go without Goku in tow. He exchanged a curt nod of relief with Sanzo before kneeling beside Gojyo. "You okay?" he said softly.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," he mumbled, waving a dismissive hand against the inquiry. Then his face grew more serious. "Hakkai, I'm sorry about…" He gestured at the pile of dust, formerly the sin-eater, and at Sanzo, who was obstinately pretending not to know what they were talking about.

"It's okay," Hakkai said with a gentle smile. "I'm sure I can think of a way for you to make it up to me."

Gojyo's eyes glittered. "Not tonight, though. I killed her, so I get the point. That puts me at twenty eight, plus the dominatrix bonus, and it puts you at my mercy."

"Actually, we all killed her," Hakkai pointed out.

"But I…"

"Group effort, no points awarded," Sanzo snarled. Then, turning to Hakkai, "And don't you think he should get docked a penalty point for trying to nail one of the targets?"

"That's not how the game works," Gojyo shot back, "and besides, it's none of your business."

"If you choose to involve your sex life in my quest, I make it my business."

Gojyo looked at Hakkai with a pitiful frown. "I think… maybe… I don't want to play anymore."

Hakkai smiled. "Fine with me. I never needed an excuse to get creative."

With a wicked grin, Gojyo reached out to cup his cheek, his thumb stroking the skin lovingly. In the aftermath of their ordeal, Hakkai finally allowed himself to give fully into temptation. He leaned forward, whole body trembling.

"Argh! Will you two knock it the fuck off? Get away from him." He grabbed Gojyo by the hair and hauled him out of range. "I've seen enough of your damned make-out sessions today to last a hundred reincarnations. Enough. Get a room."

Just then, Goku wandered up, still a little drowsy from having resisted the demon's enforced sleep. "What's that on your arm, water sprite?" he asked through a yawn.

Gojyo looked up at him inquisitively, then down at his right forearm, where two symbols were branded into his flesh. "Vanity and Lust? What the hell?"

"Those are your sins," said Sanzo, gripping Goku's wrist and pulling him forward to display his markings. "See? Gluttony and Sloth. We're all shocked."

"What about you, Sanzo?" Goku asked eagerly, eyes drifting from his own arm to the monk's. "What did you get?"

"It's not a fucking door prize?"

"Still, I wanna see." After several failed attempts, Goku managed to grab at Sanzo's evasive arm and read out, "Wrath and Pride."

"Again," muttered Gojyo. "Truly shocking." He frowned and cast a sideways look at Hakkai, who looked at the ground nervously. He had known this was coming from the moment he saw the brands, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"Let's have it, Hakkai. Our weaknesses were obvious enough, I guess, but I can't figure out yours."

"I… I'd really rather not."

"Don't be stingy," Gojyo insisted. "You've seen ours, after all."

Sanzo folded his arms. "Just this once, I have to agree with the cockroach. Give it up."

With a sigh of futility, Hakkai rolled up his left sleeve and held out his arm.

Gojyo stared at it avidly. "One, two, three, four… seven? You have seven symbols when the rest of us only have two? How many sins are there anyway?"

"Seven," murmured Hakkai, staring at the floor.

"All of them? Your weakness is every sin? So how come you weren't even more fucked up than the rest of us? As I recall, you were the only one that never quite lost control."

Hakkai took a deep breath and explained. "Just think about it. When you're being pulled in two directions, it's relatively easy for one force to gain supremacy and pull you over to its side. But if you're pulled in seven directions at once…"

"You stay centered," Sanzo finished. "Nice."

With a shrug, Hakkai offered a sheepish smile and said, "In all things, moderation."

 

***

 

The journey through the castle and the battle with Desdemona had taken more out of Sanzo and the others than any of them cared to admit, so they rested a while, chatting about inconsequential issues, completely avoiding the topic of their shared humiliation at the hands of that demon bitch. The experience had laid their weaknesses completely bare, and Sanzo didn't like to contemplate how deeply ingrained those weaknesses were.

Finally, they mustered their strength and prepared to leave, all secretly praying that the sin-eater's death had dismantled the power of the palace. As he was heading for the stairs, Sanzo noticed Gojyo loitering at a nearby wall. Eyes narrowing, he drew his revolver and aimed.

"Put that down!"

Gojyo looked up abruptly, slightly abashed. "But I was just…"

He cocked the gun, thoroughly prepared to fire. "Put. Down. The cock ring. NOW!"

With a sigh, Gojyo tossed the disgusting object on the floor, and shot a surly glance at Hakkai. "How does he know what a cock ring looks like, anyway?" Then, glowering at Sanzo, he added, "What kind of a fucking monastery did you train in?"

While Sanzo was deciding whether to retort or fire, Hakkai let out a yell of warning as two demon guards came stampeding down the steps. The change in the castle's aura had apparently alerted them to their mistress' demise, and they had come to seek revenge. Not wishing to forfeit what was left of their factor of surprise, they attacked, hurling invectives and brandishing fierce double-edged swords.

With a weary sigh, Sanzo ducked under their attack and aimed. These guys were small fries, but they were an annoyance he didn't need. He was vaguely surprised that there were only two of them, but supposed that the rest of Desdemona's coterie had been dispatched by Goku, Hakkai, and Gojyo earlier in the day. They might be just a pittance, but they were no less of a pain in the ass, and the squeak of leather and jangling of chains as they hit the ground and rounded for a second pass was giving him a headache.

In the end, he needn't have bothered getting annoyed. Before the guards came within five feet of him, before anyone else could react, Goku leapt forward and took them both down with a single swing of his nyoibo. By the time the others reached Sanzo, Goku was standing triumphantly over their prone forms.

"That's twenty nine for me!" he exclaimed gleefully. "I win!"

Hakkai covered his face in his hand, while Gojyo took an angry swat at the back of Goku's head. "I told you before, this game is for adults only. Besides, we're not playing it anymore."

Goku's jaw dropped open with affront. "No fair! You can't just cancel a game right in the middle, especially when I won. You're a sore loser, that's what I think."

"Monkey, do you even know what this game is about?"

Goku's grin was wide, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Sure do. And tonight it's about Gojyo dressing up like a nun, while Hakkai…"

"Shut up!" Sanzo bellowed. "We're not talking about this any more."

"But…"

"No!"

Gojyo elbowed Hakkai with a discomfited expression. "Jeez. And to think that kid calls me a pervert."

 

End


End file.
